According to the Death Clock, I will die on July 1, 2042.  Another 1,141,961,527 seconds to live.  I can now put that in my agenda and make the necessary arrangements.  I can change my time of death by gaining/losing weight or by starting smoking.  I didn’t know I had so much control on my destiny.

Many people see funeral planning as an extension of will and estate planning.  Me, I don’t really care what they’ll do with my dead body.  If I had to decide now, I would go directly to cremation (do not pass GO and do no collect $200).  None of that traditional funeral or burial.  Burn baby burn.

Caskets are so expensive but also, very boring.  I’m waiting for the day when we see a show on TV called “Pimp My Casket”.  Everyone should have a flat screen TV and an XBox in their casket.  What about some pimping wheels on my last resting place?  Or a headstone with some bling and neon lights?  Show Some Love and “Pimp My Hearse”!

The bottom line is that I want something very simple: quick cremation and then flush what’s left down the toilet.  If my friends and family want something more, it is completely up to them.  Anyway, I am hoping to outlive all of them so it won’t matter.  I just have to eat healthier, work out regularly, have a positive outlook on life, …. Who am I kidding? July 1, 2042 it is.

I have now only 1,141,959,438 seconds left.  I better find something meaningful to do.

Last Christmas, she felt her vision had deteriorated.  A quick visit to the Optometrist confirmed her nearsightedness (distant objects are out of focus).  She had two choices: another laser surgery or corrective lenses.  She did not feel like going through the laser surgery so she decided to go with contact lenses for now.

After going through a few free samples to decide which brand name she prefers, it was time to buy a supply of contact lenses.  We had not bought contact lenses for 15 years and we felt that these things were very expensive.  So prior to simply buying them from our Eye Care Practitioner we checked on the Internet to see if we could save some money. 

And saving money we did.  We easily found a number of suppliers that sell on the net.  Prices between the various suppliers were ”similar” and usually included free shipping.  We ended up using the supplier that had a site made for Canadian customers (remember we are in Toronto).  Within a week, my wife received her 6-month supply of contact lenses.  Overall, we were very satisfied with the whole process.

The cherry on the cake: we saved 37% as compared to the best price we found in stores around Toronto.

I don’t endorse any of these online contact lens stores and I really don’t care where you buy your products.  However, if you wear contact lenses, you owe it to yourself to check it out.

If I were a country wanting to develop nuclear weapons, I would not announce it to the world.  But that’s exactly what Iran has done.  A nice press release saying: “Screw you world, we are going to make badass nuclear bombs”.

 Logically, if you announce it, I would think that you are not really looking at developing weapons but rather you want to use this threat as a negotiation tool.  Maybe, Iran wanted to somehow increase its influence over what is going on in Iraq.  Saying to the U.S., give us something and we will not go the nuclear route.  

Well, now we are very close to the edge.  No one is blinking. I would think that for the U.S., a nuclear powered Iran is simply NOT acceptable since Iran’s leadership is crazy.  Saying the holocaust did not happen, wanting to pave Israel, etc.

Maybe the U.S. is seeing this situation as an opportunity to force a change in leadership in Iran.  As such, the U.S. administration motivation could be not to resolve this peacefully but rather to see the situation deteriorate to the point where a forced change in leadership is possible in Iran. How would the Muslim world react to the U.S. once again invading a Muslim country?  If I were Iran, I would have prepared for this potential show down with the U.S.  How can Iran touch the U.S.? Terrorism?

 In the end, this is about oil.  It’s about who will control the oil resources of the region for the next two decades.  Obviously, oil prices will shoot through the roof if the military option is chosen. 

Interestingly, we hear rumors that the nuclear option is being considered by the U.S.  It seems that some of the facilities in Iran are so well buried that conventional weapons would not hurt them enough to ensure that the nuclear program would be ended by bombing.  As such, nuclear weapons may have to be used.

Talk about being in a crazy world.  I’m getting too old for this.

What would you want to give up sex for a year? 

The answer probably depends on how good your sex life is: Give me three pieces of KFC chicken (original kind of course) and we have a deal.  We also need some clarification. Does it mean sex with another person or all sex?  Makes a big difference, doesn’t it?

To give up sex for a year, I would need something that I really care about.  If you listen to some of the “Happiness Gurus”, you hear something like this: “True happiness comes when you do what you’re most passionate about”.  Sounds good, but how the hell I am supposed to figure out what I am passionate about.  Every morning is a struggle for me: Corn Flakes or Froot Loops, Can’t even make this simple decision.  Oprah, HELP ME!

I find ”finding my purpose“ really frustrating.  The frustration comes from feeling that time is running out, that I must figure it out soon or it will be too late.  The only thing I know for sure is that I am NOT passionate about figuring out what my purpose is.  Go figure.

Maybe I have a hard time because my interests are so varied (like Corn Flakes and Froot Loops for example).  Maybe trying to force the issue is the wrong approach.  Or maybe, I am just too lazy or too comfortable in my little routine.   Anyway, here is my advice:

• Don’t give up sex for golf,
• Alternate your cereals: one day Corn Flakes, one day Froot Loops.
• Find your passion (s): hopefully you won’t have to give up sex to follow it.

About one third of men and women who answered Golf Digest’s survey said they would pick the tee time over sex.  Nice to be that passionate about something.

I am going through all of this.  I understand that some people end up deeply depressed and need medical support to deal with their crisis.  For me, it seems more like a tricky part of my life rather than a dark ordeal.  I have decided to embrace it, to attempt to answer some of the questions floating in my mind.  I want to find out if some of the crazy ideas I have are worth pursuing (Note for my wife: don’t worry dear, I am not going after the sexy lady on the bus ….).

While I am convinced that this is the right approach for me, I realize that my quest is really self-centered, peppered with “I” and “me”.  I guess there’s a perverse pleasure in feeling sorry for myself. I need this introspection, but too much of it will inhibit my ability to act, my ability to move forward. 

So here it is.  I need a balanced approach: some thinking, some wallowing and then some moving forward through action.  So, before I buy my new sports car, I will think about it for awhile, feel sorry for myself, focus on me, me, ME and then buy it.  I will take the red one.

Sir Fluffy